Vanilla Twilight
by Cerulean Pen
Summary: A song-fic about what happens when you love someone too much...and you think they'll be there forever.


Vanilla Twilight

Summary: A beautiful story, for a beautiful song. A songfic that I thought of after listening to the song for the literal hundredth time. Enjoy!

English Romance/Tragedy Rated: T Chapters:1 Words: Theodore S. & Eleanor M.

_The stars lean down to kiss you_

_As I lay awake, I miss you_

_Pour me a heavy dose _

_Of atmosphere_

He opened his eyes, rubbing the corneas down, his eyes jerking around with tears. He sat up, sucking in a long breath, tossing his brown fur out of his face. He pushed herself out of bed slowly, drinking up his surroundings briefly.

The room rang of emptiness, the kind that seemed too loud for him to comprehend. It felt like his heart had gotten lost somewhere between the bare beds, waiting for the owner to get his emotions together. He felt the mattress for his mate's warmth, knowing all too well it wouldn't be there, deprived of the girl that kept him going everyday. He closed his hazel eyes in respect, hearing her name being sung melodiously behind the rushing blood in his ears.

_"Eleanor..."_

_"Eleanor..."_

_"Eleanor..."_

He wanted that sweet voice, breaking through the cold, hard wall that went up over his broken soul, to sweep him into the past. She wanted her to speak his name. "Theodore."

_'Cause I'll dose off safe and soundly_

_But I miss your arms around me_

_I send a postcard to you dear_

_'Cause I wish you were here_

Theodore was dressed, fed, inching down the road like an abandoned turtle. His left hand drifted carelessly off the wheel, reaching for the passenger seat, where she should've been, giggling as their hands touched. Instead, he turned on the radio, feeling his eyes glaze over with tears at the sweet song that filled his ears. _Their _song, written specifically after everything that happened.

His mind was slogged down with memories, too many thoughts of his past, the past that haunted his mind everyday. He wanted...he wanted so bad, he wanted what he could never have, in a world where he was idly alone. Theodore closed his eyes, even with the road waving in front of him, wishing silently for something. Anything. Especially his Ellie.

The warehouse was warm, but he didn't feel it through the icy sheen that seemed to cover his fur. It wasn't there of course, that's what it felt like, a cold sweat permanently soaked into his soft flesh. Theodore thoughtfully laid his scarf on the hook, hands shaking slightly as he tried to turn on the machine, key falling to the ground. He didn't pick it up, he didn't even look at the golden key screaming for him to bring him back to the machine.

He turned his back on the warehouse, on his job, on his boss, on his pay, then ran. He pushed past the heavy doors so fast, he could feel the huge blast of wind behind him, blowing him even faster forward. He was free, but with no where to go.

_I'll watch the night turn light blue_

_But it's not the same without you_

_'Cause it takes two to whisper quietly_

He was wind, he was blowing wherever he wanted, free for the world to hug him to its warm, beating chest. He was not sure if he was wanted anymore, but his legs didn't let up, carrying him like a breeze carried a leaf into the sky.

_Heart..._

_Soul..._

_Body..._

_Mind..._

_Ellie..._

Theodore found himself away from his life, thrown with the dice, right into another life. He could start over, he could, but it wouldn't be the same without her. Despite the tingly sensation building up in his side, he listened to his legs, body shaking with each pounding step to the ground, asphalt cracking softly. He was free from his old life, but not from his old memories, held prisoner in an illusion jail, hallucinated with her face.

Someone came into contact with his own speeding self, putting a stop to the running he had kept up for the longest time. Her small cry of pain as they flew into the sidewalk was too familiar, another etched crack on the broken glass window of his life. "No..."

It was Amanda, her soft slim hand pulling him onto the solid ground he was once so free on, a slave again. "No..." she whispered once more, sky blue eyes large and unblinking, similar to a shocked owl.

_The silence isn't so bad_

_'Till I look at my hands and feel sad_

_'Cause the spaces between my fingers_

_Are right where yours fit perfectly_

Theodore waited until he could stand without faltering before lunging forward, pulling his older sister into a hug like no other, inhaling the deep scent of purple ink that still lingered. The silky material that made up her yellow shirt, the blue gloved hands that hugged him as tightly back. "I've missed you," she whispered sadly, petting his furry head like a lost pet.

He broke away, looking her over completely, finding his own eyes widen in surprise at how she changed. Her body hadn't gained in ounce of fat, curves hidden behind the bundle of her thick coat, taller then him by inches. The blond hair that once never listened to her now lay glistening over her shoulders. Her freckles hadn't disappeared, if possible, more prominent. Still, he felt deep inside she hadn't changed at all. "Mandy..."

Amanda shook her head slowly, holding onto this moment like the diamond ring on her finger, still minus a wedding symbol. "Theo...where? How? I-I wanted to hear from you, I wanted to know what happened after..."

Theodore didn't blame her for being unable to finish the sentence the hung with the frost in the air. He hadn't responded to anyone for such a long time, meeting one of them on the street randomly was fate exposed. "It's okay."

_I'll find repose in new ways_

_Though I haven't slept in two days_

_'Cause cold nostalgia_

_Chills me to the bone_

She felt frozen tears brimming in her eyes, taking his hand in hers, squeezing tightly for both of them. "Do you think you could come with me for a little bit?"

He nodded slightly, walking alongside her in the frozen city, their breath fossilized in the air. He felt her jolt to a stop, in front of a quaint white house, roof painted a soft blue, same shade as the shutters. "Yours?"

Amanda cocked her head, their signal for yes, taking him inside of the house, the sound of soft singing coming from the living room. Theodore though it might've been a TV or radio, but upon hearing the front door open, a little Chipette ran into the hall, wrapping her arms around her legs. She looked just like her mother, except for fluffier hair and dark brown eyes, a shy expression on her small face. "Uh, Theodore, this is my daughter, Lillian. Say hi to your Uncle Theodore."

Lillian smiled up at him, still latched around her mother's legs. "Hi, Uncle Theodore."

The sound of stairs creaking sounded, and Connor appeared, holding a Chipmunk who resembled himself, but with his mother's sky blue eyes. He now realized that her ring was in fact _her _wedding ring, her mother's somewhere else. "Theo! I haven't seen you in forever, we have certainly missed you. I see you've met Lillian, this here is Tyler."

He weakly smiled at the brown furred Chipmunk, joining his sister back in the living room, their voices filling the house again.

_But drenched in vanilla twilight_

_I'll sit on the front porch all night_

_Waist-deep in thought_

_'Cause when I think of you_

_I don't feel so alone_

Amanda turned to her husband, holding his hand a moment. "Can we have a second, Connor, I need to talk to him real quick."

He nodded, walking into the living room to his children, their singing not letting up at all. The song was all too familiar, the melody swirling around him, tinted a slushy white.

She hugged him again, this time on the verge of tears, her voice breaking. "Theo...I...wanted to see you, b-but after the accident...you left. Why...we were all broken-hearted about it too."

Theodore's eyes were glued to the white rug on the floor, following the weaved pattern with his eyes. "I don't know, I needed some alone time. I didn't know how long it would last, I wished I could talk to you guys. I just...couldn't. It's been so long since the accident, but I want her so badly. And I can't have her."

"We all want her back, I wish I could feel it like you could, your whole life altered by this all. D-do you want to stay?"

He turned, hands clenched into fists in his jacket pockets, his heart thumping wildly. He didn't answer, instead, kept his vision on the door, slightly ajar.

He ran.

_I don't feel so alone..._

_I don't feel so alone..._

_As many times as I blink_

_I'll think of you...tonight_

_I'll think of you tonight_

Theodore felt guilty, leaving her alone in the hall, probably incredibly sad. He promised himself he would respond to her...sometime. For now, he was free again, running on the wind itself, yanked by the breeze. Where he was going, he had no idea, but he wanted to get there.

Life is like a porcelain doll, sitting on a shelf in a dead child's room. Something precious, but dangerously fragile, and bound to bring back painful memories. You want to touch it, yet, you're afraid, you might break it, the sadness will overcome you. He was too afraid to pick it up.

She once a porcelain doll, a present from her deceased guardian, a pale, waxy haired little thing. The doll was named Cyndi, placed on her shelf, smiling at whoever walked into the room, a greeting. Every once in a while, she would dust off the doll, fixing her little silk dress. He remembered what happened after the accident, her oldest sister was so angry, she threw Cyndi against the wall, crying as the doll broke into a thousand snow-white pieces.

It made him sad to think of how she must've felt when her sister did that, destroying one of her favorite things.

_When violet eyes grow brighter_

_And heavy wings grow lighter_

_I'll taste the sky_

_And feel alive again_

He was approaching a hill...he closed his eyes, almost angry he had brought himself here. Theodore ran to the top of the hill, making sure he didn't look at any of the stone markers as he went. The grief inside of him felt like a monster, angry for being awakened.

The marker at the top of the hill was unlike the others, made of the same polished gray stone, but had a small star at the bottom, edged in lime green. He traced his thumb over the star, licking a salty tear off of his face.

She was so beautiful, like the porcelain doll, beautiful, blond hair, smiling every time he walked in. She was the light of his life, but had to be taken away, ripped from his hands before he could argue with fate.

Theodore took off his scarf, laying it over her grave, watching as the wind tousled around the green fringe, dancing in the wind.

She hated death. It was true, many people simply don't like it, or fear it, but she hated it with a passion. It had taken her guardian, she loathed everything that had to do with it. He promised her that death would never effect her life again, he would make sure of that.

Hah, lies. The lies he told to her, the life he promised her that could never happen. Theodore was mad at himself for the ordeal, with all of the people he had hurt, he had hurt her the most.

_And I'll forget the world that I knew_

_But I swear I won't forget you_

_Oh, if my voice could reach back through the past_

_I'd whisper in your ear_

He jumped to his feet, blind against the blowing wind, screaming at fate itself, death being blown back by the words he yelled at the air.

_"ELLIE! You're not dead! You are still here! Nothing can change that! I LOVE YOU!_

From that point on, whenever it snowed, there was always one snowflake shaped like a heart. It has never been found, but only he knows that it falls.

_Oh darling, I wish you were here_


End file.
